just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist