Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's a naked man in my car right now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
