How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
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You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?