The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?