If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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