there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
