I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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