did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
