I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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