Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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