im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
