just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
