We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
