He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
