i permit you to call me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
