those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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