When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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