bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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