Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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