Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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