If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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