I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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