fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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