69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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