FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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