she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
