Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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