hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there was a trapeze. enough said
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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