I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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