Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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