Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
