just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
