My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize