Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
