is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this beer tastes like vomit already
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals