Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped