I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be