I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
