Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
