i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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