do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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