There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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