Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
