I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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