i would punch a child for taco bell
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
