I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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