So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
