i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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