a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
