I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's just like the Real World with babies
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
