just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize