He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
