what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
