Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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