Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
