if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
