we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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