he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
