you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
