my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
