The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am naked and annoyed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
