I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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