My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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