He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
