She said her name was "party"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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