Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
