Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
