Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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