S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
