I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
