the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
