Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
